Page 10 - NLN Feb18

GOOD CHEMISTRY:

love changes you

Romantic love is a universal human experience. It exists across cultures, through time.
It brings people together and keeps them together, sometimes inexplicably.

From a scientific perspective, love originates from the primary goal of all life: to reproduce. Humans are driven by libido, mate
selection and pair bonding to produce and raise healthy offspring. Although the subjective experience of romantic love encapsulates
so much more than these biological mechanisms, it still relies on good (body) chemistry.

When you’re first falling for someone, you think about them constantly. People in this phase have serotonin deficiency,
which often occurs with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Adrenaline and norepinephrine production increase,
causing nervousness, focus and those butterflies in your tummy! Alongside
a spike in the stress hormone cortisol, the body and mind interpret
courtship as a crisis. Fortunately, shared stressful experiences help
form social connections.

Perhaps further aiding bonding, testosterone levels converge
between partners. It drops in lovestruck biosex males (who
usually have high levels of this male sex hormone) and rises
in biosex females (who usually have low levels). With a role in
regulating aggression and libido, these changes might align
lovers’ temperaments.

These specific love-related effects dissipate after a year or
so. Then, passionate love gives way to a less euphoric but
also less stressful compassionate love. It’s built upon two
hormones that keep lovers attached.

The “love hormone” oxytocin makes you feel warm and
fuzzy. It reinforces bonds, inspiring feelings of security
and contentment with someone. Cuddling, kissing
and orgasm – activities we particularly associate
with romantic relationships – flood our bodies
with oxytocin. We begin to crave it, which is partly
why it’s so hard to keep away from a new flame.

The other chemical keeping you coming back
is dopamine, the reward hormone. When you
start fancying someone, it follows the surge of
adrenaline to give you a pleasurable rush. Even
decades into a relationship, partners still continue
to respond to their beloved with just as much
dopamine. This hormone is more addictive
than oxytocin, so it always makes seeing your
special someone a very special occasion.

Chemicals swirl beneath the intricate
sensations of romantic love. While it’s
natural to effervesce when we first mix with
certain people, time and care can nurture
something stable and long-lasting.

Words: CHARLOTTE LIEHR